The Ubiquitous Pink Ninja

Once upon a time, there was a lovely young woman living in apartment 21 who liked making up stories. One day in early February, she caught a whiff of that Valentine's Day scent in the air and thought that she'd like to write some V-Day predictions for her roommates, just for fun. So she did. And in true Savannah form (for Savannah it was), she definitely went for the not-so-likely scenarios, especially for yours truly. Here was my Valentine's prediction:

Adam will ask her to go dancing. While they are dancing, someone will crash a howitzer full of highly trained orangutans into wherever it is they go to dance, which will go from person to person, breaking their collar bones. Lynnae will be forced to reveal her secret identity as a ninja, perform a series of Matrix-style stunts, and defeat all the evil orangutans. Adam will be so amazed by her awesomeness that he will swear to leave his player ways behind, if she will only be his one and only. Unfortunately, she now has to open an investigation into who sent the orangutans, and doesn't have time for a relationship.

Well, as awesome as that would have been, it didn't come true, but I did send a copy of the prediction along to my best friend Qait. She responded with a letter containing her doodles of the event...

So suddenly Lynnae was not just a ninja, she was a pink ninja. But the formation of her identity was still not complete. Shortly after that, I posted one of those "write a memory you have of me" status thingies on Facebook and Savannah thought it would be a great time to post a "memory" she had of me. Specifically this one:

Oh memories! I remember once, it was you and me, and we went for a drive through the canyon. Yes, it was a glorious trip! We found this little back road with a road block and a danger sign, so OF COURSE we drove around the sign to check it out. We went for about a mile, found nothing, then decided to turn around and come back. Unfortunately, we couldn't find the main highway again, even though there was no turn off, and we had only driven a mile (according to the ever-accurate odometer) down the danger-road. 

We drove back the way we had come for 23 miles before we realized that something had to be horribly wrong. When we turned on the radio, and every single station was playing the twilight-zone theme song, we realized we must have driven through a worm hole. 

We pulled over to the side of the road and stepped out of the car, but there was no ground to step on. Yet, step we did. Ice crystals formed into hardened stepping stones beneath our feet with each step we took. We had gone maybe 10 feet, when we were surrounded by rocks shaped like pike. One of the rocks stood in front of all the others, and said, "Humans, welcome to our world. You stepped through the Weird Wormhole of Wonders, and now you can never go back."

But, there was something he didn't know. I was with you, and you are a howitzer-driving-orangutan-defeating ninja. You ripped off your polo shirt to reveal pink and black spandex beneath (because you are The Ubiquitous Pink Ninja), and unleashed all your pink fury upon the rocks. They shattered, and transformed into orchids, floating in the abyss. 

Then we had to get back through the worm hole, and for that, an evil genius was required. Luckily, you were with me. I am The Nefarious Lady Death-Moon, and evil genius is my specialty. I used my diabolical brain to CREATE my own wormhole, and we drove back through it, and landed in Luxembourg, the tiny country bordered by Belgium, France and Germany. Oops, my bad. I had to use evil genius again to mutate our genetic code in such a way that we sprouted wings and jet-engines and flew back to the canyon, where we drove home, pretending nothing had happened. To this day, no one knows about it, but you and me.

Oh...
And everyone else on facebook. Oops. Sorry about that.

Thus dubbed with the epithet "Ubiquitous" (which means "all-present," by the way -- an epithet that I use to my advantage as often as possible), the Pink Ninja soon developed a personality of her own and moved her secret base of operations to a tulip field in Holland, where her pink uniform could actually serve as a form of camouflage. Since then, she's been occupied with the business of keeping the Nefarious Lady Deathmoon from taking over the world, charming the questionably-evil Catalyst of Evil, and picking up a couple of useful sidekicks along the way. She's a true snark (made up of the best parts of my sarcastic side) and a lover of plain, simple things. The rest of her personality and backstory are still in the works, but there you go. For those of you who ever wondered, when Savannah and I talk about being each other's nemesis, you'll know what we're talking about.

Oh, and by the way, I really want to see this movie now. Not because of any specific parallels between our characters and these, but more because the idea of their relationship is pretty close to how we view the relationship between the Ubiquitous Pink Ninja and the Nefarious Lady Deathmoon.