The Once and Future Present

Well, it's my birthday today. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but it's kind of a big deal. After all, no one reading this blog would be reading it if I weren't here, so anyone who likes me and my writing should be pretty darn happy on June 2nd, since it's the day we celebrate Lynnae entering this world.

But I thought it appropriate to take stock and see how the 21-year-old, fully adult Lynnae stacks up against her expectations of where she'd be at this point. By the way, I think it's slightly humorous that you're considered a full-fledged adult at age 21 when you still have to pay mondo fees to rent a car until you're 25, you don't qualify for Pell grants until the year you turn 24 (or if you're married, but that's irrelevant to me at the moment), and everyone I meet still goes, "DANG you're young!" Riiiight. Adulthood. It seems like we've still got a couple of years to go before Adulthood and I truly become well-acquainted with each other.

Oh, and let's not forget the fact that my older friends and family still act younger than me sometimes most of the time. So really, adulthood doesn't count for much. It just means people ask fewer questions when you want something and they assume that you know what you're talking about. On the flip side, you get away with a lot less foolishness than you did when you were a kid. Because, again, people assume that you know what you're doing. Or that you should. And if you don't, you failed at something along the way. Which is probably true.

Anyway. A brief peek into the then-and-now Lynnaes.

THEN: Lynnae wanted to publish a book before she graduated high school, and be the next Christopher Paolini.
NOW: Well first up, I don't much care for Christopher Paolini. He's somewhat juvenile in his storytelling style and it grates on me. I want to red-pen him every time I read one of his books. Which is saying something, since I'm a pretty mellow editor. Which brings us to the whole author thing... yeah. It didn't happen. I had book well in the works, but I took a hiatus, came back, didn't like the story anymore because I'd learned how to actually write in that hiatus and scrapped the story. I then proceeded to discover that editing was much more fun for me than writing. So I'll be editing for the next Christopher Paolini instead of becoming him. And for the record, my protege (yes I know there's supposed to be an accent mark... stupid HTML doesn't like me) will be a very good writer. Not a hack who shamelessly steals from Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. What? I really don't hate Christopher Paolini. Honest! Oh wait... nevermind. I should probably tell the truth and increase my chances of living to my next birthday.

THEN: Lynnae-that-was had a secret plan to be married by the time she was 21. Sure, she could wait until she graduated, but where's the fun in that? Somehow, 21 just seemed like the perfect age.
NOW: Frankly, I no longer care when I get married. All I know is that I'm not married yet, and I haven't minded the wait all that much. I have more to do than I could ever get done, and most of my plans are flexible enough to handle anything that life throws at me. Of course, now that I've said that, Murphy's Law dictates that I will be proven conclusively wrong. Please be kind and rescue me from my own hubris, if it comes to that, okay?

THEN: Lynnae planned on going to BYU and majoring in English
NOW: Fortunately for me, that's exactly what happened, and I'm so glad it did.

THEN: In high school, Lynnae was actually kind of arrogant. She was convinced that she was going make a splash in the giant pond of BYU and prove to the world how smart she was. She'd learned a ton, and was ready to show everyone what she'd learned.
NOW: It didn't take long for me to learn humility. I burned out winter semester of my freshman year and my grades dropped enough to lose me the scholarship I'd won. That's when I learned that there's so much more to learn. I also learned that grades aren't really all that important in the long run. Yeah, they show people how smart you are, but I've since formed the opinion that if you have to flaunt your grades to prove your intelligence, you've still got a long way to go. Because the smartest people 1) don't need to show off and 2) understand that there's really no such thing as a smart person. Everyone in humanity is equally moronic at times. Conversely, we all have our moments of genius too.

There are still plenty of things for me to work on, and I'm really not all that mature. Remember, Adulthood and I are still kind of treading cautiously around each other. But suffice to say, I like where I'm going and I'm happy with where I've been. Bring on the new year.