My life is full of small blessings. Sometimes I get so caught up in the things that I wish would happen in my life that I lose sight of the things that are happening. With a very few exceptions, my life has always been more good than bad. The happy things have always outweighed the sad things. But I find that sometimes my ability to recognize the good things becomes clouded by doubt, fear, frustration, etc.
I've found that I can clear my muddied vision simply and effectively. In fact, it's got a near-perfect record: making the Lord and the gospel the center of my life. As long as I do that, everything else just falls into place and it's easier to see and appreciate the simple blessing in my life.
I get off-center every now and then when it comes to my spirituality. It's easy to become distracted by the pressures of work, school, and relationships. But luckily, we do have some prevention methods that help keep us on track. Someone very wise once told me that as long as we're reading our scriptures and saying our prayers every day, it's pretty darn hard to get too far off-track. Sins of commission are almost always preceded by sins of omission. We stop doing the things we should before we start doing the things we shouldn't. That's not the case 100% of the time, but I'd guess that 99.9% of the time it is.
Anyway, I've been faithfully reading and praying everyday for a while now (not forever; I'm not perfect) so life has been pretty decent. But then I started noticing a decrease in my desire to do those things every day. Sheer stubbornness was keeping me going, which isn't a bad thing, but shouldn't we do something because we really really want to? So yesterday, I took a few minutes before going to meet my boyfriend to sit and read my scriptures for a little longer than I normally would. I also offered a quick prayer for answers, even though I had no idea what question I was really asking.
When I got to Tevan's apartment, I was scanning the books on his bookshelf while he was looking some stuff up on the computer. My eyes fell on an old issue of the Ensign that had a cover story that caught my eye. Intrigued, I picked it up and read the article and lo and behold, it was answering the exact question that I didn't know I was asking. It told me exactly how to re-focus on the things I needed most. After I finished reading, I noticed that it was suddenly easier to recognize the little blessing of an answered prayer.
And today, as I was riding my bike home from work, I felt raindrops and noticed the clouds looking delightfully dark and ominous, so I pulled out my earbuds and listened to the gentle rolling thunder, a sound I haven't heard much of since I moved away from Iowa. I'd forgotten how much I missed it.
So now I'm sitting out on my front porch, computer in my lap, typing contentedly away as the wind (you know, I have yet to convince Tevan that wind is not of the devil) whisks gently through my hair.
I may not be a hardcore writer, or even a very great one, but I love capturing moments like this. Regardless of whether you call it a coincidence or not, I take this little thunderstorm as one of those small blessings that reminds me that yes, life is good.
2 comments:
Love your blog. I keep checking to see if you write some more, but alas!....you must be on hold. Are you playing nice music? Hold music is sometimes so lovely that one can fall asleep! I am sleepy...sleepy.... s l e e p y. . . . . . . . . . o x o x o o o o
Mmm, I love thunderstorms, too. I went to Colorado last week for the wedding I mentioned before (almost wrote that "meansioned." I guess the acetone worked), and Colorado is famous for its rain. Playing "war" in a storm is how I got double pneumonia! So anyway, while I was there, it would sprinkle for maybe three minutes...and then be done. And an hour later, sprinkle again...and that's it. Again and again, and I LOVED it. Rain is so soothing!
(I've humorously pondered the reason and concluded it must be that we enjoyed womb-time while mommy took showers...like I said, humorously. Not seriously).
Lynnae, it's so true that keeping those little habits in check protect us from so much of the greater harm we could get ourselves into. I never stopped reading or praying daily once I secured the habit at age 15, and I'm sure that has saved me from deep depression or feelings of total unworthiness from the mistakes I've made. It's a way to keep Heavenly Father's love close by.
President Eyring is right (of course) that when you try harder to see the hand of the Lord in your life every day, you see it more and more. Just making the effort opens your eyes!
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