Loved

I've found a boy who loves me back! It's so wonderful. He tells me he loves me. He gives me kisses. He brings me presents. He loves my shoes. He loves me when I'm not wearing any makeup. He always wants me to do things with him. He's sad when I have to leave.

Okay, so he's three years old. ("But he's a nice man, a good catch, true? True!"--Sorry, couldn't resist the Fiddler on the Roof reference)

Oh Ender. You're leading man of my blog. I hope that when you're older, you still remember how much your Aunt Lynnae loves you, because she's crazy about you.

Life is hard sometimes. I'm uprooting my entire life, moving away from everyone I know, and going to live with strangers. I'm graduating from BYU, still single, and there are times I wonder why I even bother trying to meet guys when they're always taken, uninterested, or even just plain mean sometimes. Despite how many people know my name, know my face, and tell me that they care about me, sometimes I just feel utterly invisible--as if the world is moving on without me and I'm left floundering by myself.

But it's the times like that when the Lord likes to remind me that I'm still loved. That there are people who have eyes only for me. Ender is one of those people. That sweet little boy lights up like a firecracker whenever I walk in the door, and his little arms wrap around my neck, reminding me that, yes, I am loved. And when he curls up on my lap and begins to snore softly as I talk to his mom, well, I'm convinced that there are few things in this life that are sweeter than that.

I could fill a whole book with the charming and heartwarming things that Ender does every time I see him. Knowing him makes me look forward to parenthood, even though, thanks to Qait's baby shower this last Friday, I've heard more than my fair share of birthing horror stories (and yes, they totally freaked me out).

Ender always lifts my heart and makes me forget about everything else that worries me, and I couldn't be more grateful for that.