Ah! I'm a sucky sister sometimes. Yesterday was Jessa's birthday, and I didn't even call her. I didn't realize it until today. She's 17. Holycrap. I feel so old (a feeling that wasn't helped by the discovery of a couple of strands of long silvery hair in my bangs yesterday morning--I'm too young to go grey!) I also failed to get Brian a letter before his P-day. That makes two weeks the poor boy has gone without getting a letter from me. Granted, I never promised to write him every single week, but it was kind of an unspoken expectation on both sides, I think. So now I feel bad.
Ohmygosh. My sister is seventeen. I remember turning seventeen! That was like, yesterday. Okay, so it was actually five years ago, but it feels so recent. I was seventeen when I started at BYU, in fact. Only for a couple of months, but I was.
I'm proud of my Jessa, though. She's come so far from the unsure, somewhat awkward little twelve-year-old that she was when I left for college. As Brian and I have both left the house, she's found the space she needed to grow into her own skin and find out just what a talented, beautiful young woman she is.
And she did it in spite of all the times we tormented her when we were kids. I'll be honest, I wasn't always very nice to my only little sister. I'm not proud of it. Brian and I often tormented or provoked her (and often got in trouble for it) when she was little. But she's grown up in spite of it, and as she reaches maturity, the age-gap between us feels so much smaller. It's taken a long time, but these days, when I talk to her on the phone and spend time with her when I'm at home, I catch wonderful glimpses of the kind of friends we're becoming.
As a teen, I knew that my sister and I didn't get along. She drove me crazy, but I always knew at the back of my mind that it wouldn't be that way forever. One day, we would both be adults, and the friendship we always knew we should have would grow and blossom. I'm so grateful that it's reaching that point. I've never liked being at odds with my little sister. Happy Birthday, Jessa. Even if it is one day late, I still love you.
And I will write Brian a letter this week. Time to get back to being a good big sister. :)
2 comments:
I imagine my older sisters have experienced some similar feelings! Abby and I especially felt a reconnecting like that...at home, we loved each other but never spent much time together. And now that we're both mommies in our own homes, we're SO excited to discover new pieces to our friendship. We've always claimed each other as sisters in a tight family, but we're getting to know each other better now!
I'm glad you can see me growing up, 'cause sometimes with how slow time goes I don't feel the change. Of course I guess you see my life in chunks as you come and go from college therefore aging happens more quickly. :)
Thank you Lynnae, I love you so much and look forward to being with you again. You are an amazing example to me and I'm thankful to God for having you as a sister, so thankful as a matter of fact that that I thank him daily for you.
I Love you!
Jess
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