Happy as a Clam

Thought-provoking question of the day: How on earth do we know that clams are happy??

Thoughts on the subject are welcome.

I'm blogging more, I've noticed. I think there's a correlation between how happy/contented with life I am and how likely I am to write it down. And let me tell you, I'm happy right now. I don't really feel particularly bubbly or giddy or anything like that, but I'd rate my overall life satisfaction pretty high.

Here are some of the reasons:

I got to talk to Brian yesterday while he was on his layover in Houston between the MTC and Puebla. It was only for a couple of minutes, because he was just about to board the plane (visit his blog to see Mom's thoughts from their much-longer conversation), but we didn't need much more than that. The funny thing is, we can converse endlessly in person or through letters, but stick us on the phone and we somehow run out of things to say really quickly. So the exchange of "Love you"s and "See you in two years" and flight details was more than enough for us. Both of us are chatty writers (me more than him--shocker, I know), and that's where we'll get our conversation-fixes for the next two years.

I've had a family-overdose this weekend. For the first holiday since I've been at BYU, both sides of my family remembered to invite me and their parties didn't overlap, so I could make it to both: Dinner on Sunday with the Jacksons (no Jackson family waterfight... this time) and swimming/barbecue/deliciousness in Heber with my mom's side of the family yesterday. As one might expect from extended family, I had to put up with all the nosy relationship questions, belated (or just repeated) congratulations on the Ensign internship, and currently-unanswerable questions about what I'm doing with my future, but I did it good-naturedly, of course. It might be a little bit vain, but, thanks to the Ensign internship, my impending graduation, etc., I'm something of a novelty among my family members right now, and I won't deny that I enjoy the attention. It's nice to have everybody focus on you every now and then, you know?

My roommates are all home again. Savannah was gone for a week for her brother's wedding in Missouri and, while I liked having my own room and full control of the lightswitch and the floorspace, I really did miss her. She crawled up on my bunk last night for some girl talk and my whole world felt right again. Stephanie also went away for the weekend, and it wasn't until we were flopped on the couch with each other, watching a movie that I fully realized how quiet my apartment had been all weekend. These girls are my soulmates, and life is just better with them in it. (And don't get me wrong, spending extra time with Aubry this weekend was totally awesome. I love her too. It just feels nice to have all four of us back together again.)

I'm on a regular workout schedule, which does multiple things: 1) I feel healthier and therefore more confident, which obviously generates increased happiness (whoa, I sounded like a Wellness program commercial there... work is rubbing off on me) 2) It's easier to wake up in the mornings and get stuff done before work, 3) Eating healthy comes a bit more naturally, since I crave less junk food when I work out, 4) Let's be honest, it feels amazing to drop a big number of repetitions when you could barely do five repetitions a couple of weeks before that--there's a sense of accomplishment.

Speaking of healthy things, here's one that isn't good for me, but I'm so looking forward to it: my Tucano's free-birthday-meal-coupon-thing came in the mail this last week, which means I'm getting Tucano's sometime this month, which is just plain awesome. It's only my favorite restaurant.

Overall, I just have an increased confidence in my future. You know how sometimes, it feels like you're just slogging through the hard times, hoping that there's a light at the end of the tunnel and that things will get easier soon? Well, I feel like I'm coming out of that right now. For whatever reason, things that I wouldn't have expected or dared to hope for are suddenly becoming very real and reachable.

I feel like things are falling into place, which probably has more to do with the fact that I've been doing better at improving my use of time and my commitment to the really important things than with sheer coincidence. It's been my experience that the more seemlessly we fit ourselves into God's plan for us, the more we feel like all the pieces of life fall into place, because we start seeing things from His perspective instead of our own. And recently, I've been trying really hard to let go of all my personal expectations and just do what I can to make my life, and the lives of others, better.

I'll tell you this: it's very hard to do. I've given up and started over so many times (and I'm still nowhere near good at it), but eventually, personal pride and selfishness wears down and teachableness kicks in. Once that happens, the Lord takes over and starts pointing you down roads that you're surprised you didn't notice before. It's definitely worth the continuous effort.

So, assuming that clams really are as happy as we think they are, I'm as happy as the best of those happy clams. :)