The Rest of My Life

Yes, watch it. It's only 14 seconds long. Plus, it sums up the main point of my post today.



Okay, cross out "revenge business" and insert "planningongoingtothetemple business" and you've pretty much nailed my feelings this week.

Yes, the temple was incredible. Yes, it really is just the beginning, not the end, and I'm super stoked to go back over and over for the rest of my life because it would take me multiple lifetimes to truly grasp all of the beautiful symbolism that goes on in the temple.

But here's my problem: I've crossed off one of my major goals. Pretty much all of my efforts my whole life (and the last 2-3 years especially) have been focused on this one moment. And I don't have a similarly grand and check-markable goal to put in its place. Yes, there's the goal to go to the temple for the rest of my life, but it's hard to put a check mark next to that when you're done. Because that's the point: you're never done.

So I have been feeling a little lost this week. Nothing horrible or depressing, just directionless. I've been so focused for so long that this sudden freedom is disorienting.

But! I've come up with a fairly lofty goal that I'm pretty excited about. I'm going to go to every temple in Utah. Then, someday, I'm going to go to each temple associated with my old hometowns or any place that my family has lived. Also, whenever I go somewhere new that has a temple nearby, I'm going to make sure I go.

We'll see how plausible/doable this goal ends up being, but it's pushed some of the wind back into my sails, and that's what I needed most right now.

I promise I'm happy, though. I have been at so much at peace that it sometimes stresses me out (does that make sense? You know how you know that something should bother you but it doesn't, and that bothers you? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about). But I'm happy. :)