Strength in Weakness

I'm always amazed at how God can take our mistakes, weaknesses, and struggles and turn them in our favor. I know that's kind of a big way to open a new blog post, especially when I haven't posted anything particularly informative recently. But I've been thinking about it a lot.

A lot of times, I feel like I'm not eloquent enough, consistent enough, scripture-savvy enough, faithful enough, or whatever-else-enough compared to somebody else, especially when it comes to my testimony. Working at the Ensign and reading countless incredible stories and talks everyday has brought those feelings into sharper relief, because I'm surrounded by so many incredible testimonies. What is my own tiny one in comparison? What right do I have to be editing these words when I never could have said them that way myself? 

But a few weeks ago, I had this very profound thought, and thank goodness I had the presence of mind to write it down, or I might have lost it. A testimony is not about how much you know, but rather about what you already know about the Savior. (Maybe that's a "duh" thing for a lot of you, but it was somewhat revelatory to me.)

Some of the most beautiful testimonies I've ever heard are from those who are only just starting to get to know their Savior. They haven't brushed against many of the deeper, more complex layers of the gospel, and yet their testimonies are so rich and powerful anyway. Granted, the deeply personal, poetic, sweeping testimonies of the prophets and apostles are equally powerful, but I think that serves to strengthen my point. When we stop trying to know everything everyone else does and focus instead on what we already know, we find our personal strength. 

We don't have to be perfect for the Lord to use us to bless His other children. In many cases, it is our imperfection that makes it possible for Him to use us to lift someone else. Because how many of us respond better to a sympathetic ear than to someone who's never experienced what we have? Pretty much all of us. That's what makes the Savior's atoning sacrifice so powerful and transcendent: He experienced all things and so He can nurture us in all things.

This isn't an excuse to stop trying to improve, by any means. But if you're like me, you tend to hold yourself to a higher bar than you hold everyone else, and this is a reason to stop pushing yourself so mercilessly hard. President Uchtdorf said last night that too often, we compare our weaknesses to someone else's strengths. That's like comparing apples to brussels sprouts. They are the farthest thing from a valid comparison. 

So instead of worrying about how much I know--and still have to learn--I've spent the last few weeks focusing more on the things I know. Quantity is far less significant than quality. And the cool thing? As you improve the quality of your belief in the things you already know, even if that's only one or two things, you find that the quantity increases, too. I speak from personal experience on this one. :)