Thoughts

Do you know how often I sit staring at my blog, knowing I want to write something, but unable to figure out exactly what to talk about? Yeah, it happens a lot. Because I like blogging. But the internal editor in me has to have something coherent and at least half-formulated before I can actually put something into writing. This is why I pretty much gave up on creative writing.

Oh, I still indulge when the muse strikes. Or, as many of my readers might have guessed by now, when I want to process a thought that I'd rather not get too specific about. Then I write some half-cryptic story that only a select group of people actually understand. But I can't ever write creative novels, because I just end up sitting around editing all of the ideas in my head before ever writing anything down, and inevitably, I realize that I'm much more content to let other people do the writing.

Because I. Love. Editing.

I forget that sometimes when I get bogged down in a boring task and I have absolutely no desire to focus. Or when I've stuck in a ritualistic job that requires the same thing every day. But then I find myself in a situation like  I am now, and I realize that I miss editing.

You know that swoopy, warm-fuzzy feeling you get when you think of someone you are in love with? Yeah, I get that sometimes when I stumble across some grammar fact or linguistic observation. Weird? Maybe. (Don't worry, I definitely get swoopy, warm-fuzzy feelings about boys, too. I'm not a total weirdo.)

And the funny thing is, when I was younger, I used to get a little jealous when someone else came up with a great story idea. As if I should have thought of it first. I was territorial about wanting to get my own corner on the fiction market. Anyone else who had a good idea was a threat.

Reason Number One why editing is a much better option for me: now when someone tells me a brilliant writing breakthrough, I get super excited for them. Because I know that they can go far with an idea like that. I don't get jealous or resentful. Just unbelievably happy for someone else. I like that editing helps me be a much less self-centered person.

Don't get me wrong! I'm not saying all authors/writers are self-centered. I just know that I was when I was trying so hard to be one. Falling in love with editing was liberating for me, because, by nature, editors get little to no credit for what they do. I didn't have to worry about beating someone else to a good idea. Instead, I get to spend my time making someone look as good as I can make them.

Whenever I get bogged down in my own troubles, editing is often a great release. Because I'm serving someone else. I love it.

I'm grateful every day that I found something I could love for the rest of my life.

Fun fact: I actually pretty much word-vomited this blog post. No prior-thought involved this time. Hm. Seems I can do it after all. ;)