I'm Not Speaking To My Body

Welcome, my friends, to the land of gusty sneezes, red eyes, rumbling headaches, and faraway voices. No, not the voices in your head that make you question your sanity. I mean literally. Your voice. Far away. On vacation. Or in hiding. At any rate, not present. (Yes, I did just use "literally" incorrectly.)

That pretty much sums up my weekend. How was yours?

Really, though, I'm a little frustrated. Now, I don't enjoy being sick (what kind of masochist would I be if I did?) but I seriously just had A WHOLE MONTH of downtime (also known as unemployment) where it would have been no inconvenience whatsoever to be sick. I could have stayed curled up under the covers for as long as necessary and devoured as much Vitamin C and apple juice as possible during that time. But no. I was the picture of health.

Then, SURPRISE! I get this providential job opportunity as a scripture proofreader for the Church and, two days before I start, I get slammed with a mondo cold that slaughters my voice, eats up my tissue stash, and threatens to overpower my Advil supply. (Gross? Yeah, I know. I'm disgusted on multiple levels right now.)

I feel like death. And now I'm back to putting in eight-hour work days.

Thanks for that, body. I kind of hate you right now.

On the bright side, yes, I am officially employed once again. I'm back at the Church Office Building. Home sweet home. I'm working on a project proofreading the scriptures for the new digital printing masters they've created. And please note right now that I said proofreading. This is not the same as editing. It falls under an editor's job description, and it is a form of editing, but we are not editing the scriptures. So don't get any funny ideas about that. Basically, I'm reading copy-to-copy to make sure that everything transferred from old to new and that the custom-designed font created for this project has most of the kinks worked out of it.

We're not correcting the grammar of the scriptures, or choosing better ways to say things. The Author knows how He wants things, and they're pretty near perfect as they are. We're just making sure that human error didn't creep in during the transferral process.

All complaints about my health aside, I'm happy to be back at work. It'll feel awesome once I'm functioning properly again.

In the meantime, I'm going to hide under the covers, chug juice and water, and hope the Cold Fairy decides to go bother someone else really soon.