The Index Intruder

Have you heard of the Bed Intruder? It's kind of become a cult classic. Gets quoted everywhere. Well, as of today, Antoine has officially intruded into my editing class. And let's just say, it let out a lot of tension. See, it's the second-to-last day of class (whoa. Reality check. That's freaky.) and we're just now starting on how to edit an index (which basically means you have to know how to write one) and the problem is that indexing is extremely tricky. You'd think it would be straight-up alphabetical, right? Well, technically yes.

But that's where the problem starts.

What about numbers? Roman numerals (you treat them differently, by way)? Commas? Titles? If something is two words, do you put it under the first word or create the entry with the second word first?

Cue Prince Henry's monologue from Ever After:

 Is that the lady you're supposed to be with or was it the first? And if so, when the two of them were walking side by side were they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or, was the second one supposed to be first?

Yup. Pretty much my thoughts exactly. Except... not about romance. It's about indexing entries.

Behold, the inner workings of my mind. Such a nerd at heart.

Anyway, we were so fed up with all the rules and nitpicky details that made no sense that we were about to start a mutiny, when some guy up in the front started saying, "These rules are really dumb. Fo' real...." in a perfectly passable imitation of Antoine Dodson. I had to laugh. Less at how funny or not-funny the quote was, and more at the fact that the Bed Intruder has successfully invaded the one realm where vernacular cliches and slang phrases are usually least tolerated.

I say least-tolerated meaning that there are a shocking number of editors who are exactly how most people think of them: grammar-nazi correctness freaks who love red pens and making papers bleed. We're not all like that, I promise. But some people are. They make me wince, but they're out there.

Anyway. Welcome, Antoine Dodson, to the editing circle. Just know that we language-geeks appreciate you, too.