PDA

Okay, so normally, I choose not to get up on my soapbox about PDA and couples being all lovey-dovey because I have been forced to eat my words in the past. As in, I’ve been guilty of it too. So, I tend to avoid getting riled about it at all.

However, I walked out of my office to refill my water bottle in the hall and there was this couple sitting right on the very edge of the bench by the door. I mean, right on the edge of the bench. So close to the door that I almost tripped over their feet and into their laps on my way out the door. Now, uncomfortable though that often is, it’s fairly normal. People sit on the edge of that bench all the time. But this couple happened to look up at me as I came out the door, which produced a feeling akin to looking down at a six-year-old who has their arms wrapped around your waist and is begging for your attention. Except that six-year-olds don’t have that “You totally just interrupted us in the middle of our sweet nothings” look on their face. Ever.

As I regained my composure after almost crashing (literally) into this little PDA session, the guy went right back to nuzzling his girlfriend’s ear, which left me to wander down the hall, fill my water bottle, and then have re-face them on my way back into my office. Again, the looking-up-at-me-like-I’ve-interrupted-you is just not going to make this any easier for anybody. Just… pretend I’m not here. Really. I just work here. Consider me a part of the infrastructure. Invisible and about as nosy as that wall you’re leaning up against. Just don’t stare, please.

Now again, I’m perfectly aware that there are some situations of even the tamest PDA that will make someone feel awkward. You can’t avoid that. In fact, I don’t recommend trying. I’m all for small demonstrations of devotion in public. You’re happy, you’re in love. By all means, feel free to show it. The people who hate you for it are typically jealous for one reason or another. But there’s a line. Sitting there with arms and legs and heads all tangled together, staring at each other with googly eyes, and whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears is great. But keep it at home. We’re in a school. We’re trying to study. We’re trying to work. And it’s both distracting and uncomfortable for unfortunate bystanders and passersby.

Many people may disagree with me, but I’m totally okay with seeing couples holding hands, kissing before going to class, or even leaning against each other doing homework while on campus. The occasional back-scratch or playing-with-the-hair isn’t all that uncomfortable to witness, either. In such cases, I often think, “aw. Cute” rather than “ew.” Heck, I used to meet my boyfriend on campus for lunch and we’d end up dozing under a shady tree most of the time, so I don’t have much room to be hyper-critical of couples being snuggly. But when you more closely resemble a bowl of spaghetti because the casual viewer can’t locate or trace where all the arms and legs are going, that’s just… too much. Especially when you’re in the way, like in the middle of a hallway, sitting on a walkway, or sharing an enclosed study-space with others.

Which is why I was annoyed. Because Spaghetti Couple was not only resembling my not-so-favorite pasta (except when Brian makes it: then it’s absolutely delish) but they were so close to the door that I had to walk through. People do come in and out of there. Often. The only thing I’m grateful for (regarding Spaghetti Couple – the rest of my day has been pretty good) is that they did cease and desist at least partly while I was in the immediate vicinity. Granted, the staring-up-at-me part was more than a little disconcerting. And unnecessary. Believe me, I was not at all interested in trying to creep on their little tender moment.

But all that said, I’m not discouraging Spaghetti Couple from being in love. Happy canoodling (haha, pun on noodle. Kunkee would be proud) and I wish them a felicitous relationship. Just… don’t… stare at the poor unfortunates who were caught off guard. The close proximity was more the problem than what they were actually doing. And the staring. Geez.

Have I mentioned that it was the staring that really got me? I don’t stare at them. I prefer the mutually-agreed-upon ignoring of each other method, no matter the level of PDA.